beyond the binaries

138 notes

The fact is that children are inherently unpredictable, and so (surely) what it means to decide to be a parent is to agree that you will accept the uncertainty that comes with being a parent. Having a child is not like taking a spouse; there is no mutual agreement entered into. It is up the parent to make the commitment. And to make the commitment by saying, “I’m willing to have you, but only if you are a boy, and a straight boy at that, and a straight boy with blue eyes and a very high IQ” is, frankly, to not really make the commitment that parenting requires.

Am I suggesting that people who want to engineer their children’s sexual orientations are unfit to be parents? Yes, I am. Being gay is not a terrible, tragic disease that requires prevention or treatment chosen for you by your parents.

Alice Dreger, To Have Is To Hold

(via stfusexists) (via stfuhomophobes) (via pansexualpride)

Also: “We know that gay and lesbian people suffer a lot of discrimination. And in theory, it seems reasonable to try to prevent a child from suffering discrimination. But an approach like prenatal dex for homosexuality prevention positions gay and lesbian people as the problem to be cured, where we ought to see that it’s our society that’s suffering from a disease. “

(Dreger is actually transphobic —see more on that here— so we don’t support her; but the point in these quotes still holds.)

Filed under homophobia parent children quote gay

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