Posts tagged genderqueer
genderqueer
beyond the binaries
Random gender thoughts
So I got a new work shirt the other day, just a white button-up, nicely tailored and professional. (Thank you Goodwill!) I wore it to work yesterday, with a black tie arranged into an ascot-bow type thing that the women traditionally wear at my job. And a bra. I passed almost completely I think.
Nobody at work said a thing except for one of the waitresses who whispered “you have chi-chi’s today!” and pointed at my chest. She knows a bit about my gender background and she’s been cool with it, so it didn’t bother me because I could tell she was being humorous. Not even the customers that I’ve known a while said anything - although many of the regulars wouldn’t say anything to me despite being friendly in the past. I figure being ignored is better than being criticized.
I was so, so scared on my way to work. Halfway there I strongly considered going right back home and putting on my guy stuff.
I felt really pretty, but I don’t know if I want to do that everyday .. going back and forth in a public sphere is extremely nerve wracking. :(
I wish people didn’t feel so constrained by gender .. to me it doesn’t even feel like a real phenomenon! Sometimes I have no idea where femininity ends and masculinity begins. I feel differently gendered every day. I used to just want to be a cis-person, but now I wish everyone else was genderfluid.
peace check out this work in progress film:
a group (sankofa, kay, xtian, seyi) of gender non conforming, gender queer and transgender p.o.c got together in april to talk about what it meant to be us in this society and challenging race/class/gender/ sexuality/ gender expression in this white supremacist/ patriarchal/ capitalist society. this is a brief excerpt from the project with a focus on my evolution of spirit transcending gender.
“Against the Grain” follows the story of Oluseyi Toyin Adebanjo, a cultural organizer, artist and graduate student who is undergoing testosterone therapy treatment and working to create an identity that is gender non-conforming.
People who undergo testosterone therapy, (often called “T” for short) have the goal of inducing and maintaining the presence of masculine characteristics. Oluseyi talks candidly about the changes in the body, voice, bone structure, and weight just to name a few. There are a number of ways that “T” can be taken on a short or long term basis depending on what the desired outcome is. Oluseyi , who just passed the six month mark of treatment in April explores the issue of transgender non-conformity, self-love and acceptance through Oluseyi’s personal story and conversations with others. As a person of color, that is same gender loving, and non-conforming Oluseyi talks about the challenges of multiple identities and weaving in and out different spaces. Oluseyi also grapples with the choice of undergoing “T” and the contradictions that go along with that decision. Oluseyi struggles with the decision and whether or not to continue on “T” treatment.enjoy!
A response to the ‘linear narrative’ video, mostly with respect to my own experiences breaking out of that narrative as a (gender)queer person of color.
submitted by soyface
My Identity, My Journey
I want to talk about my identity and the journey that got me to where I am now, but I’m not entirely sure how to start.
I’m 22. My first exposure to genderqueer and trasmasculine and FTM things came in the form of stumbling upon a trans man’s LiveJournal when I was 17. As I scrolled through his entries, paying special attention to those about top surgery, something just clicked.
I suddenly had a name for an inexplicable feeling that had been lurking in my psyche for as long as I could remember— gender dysphoria.
This discovery truly turned my world upside down. For a couple of years after my initial discovery, I struggled to figure out my own personal identity. I knew that I had a lot of things in common with trans men— I desperately wanted top surgery, I experienced gender dysphoria on a daily basis, I wanted a more masculine body, I wanted the world to recognize my masculinity and treat me accordingly— but the identity of trans man never felt quite right to me.
For a long time, I wandered aimlessly in the ocean of gender questioning. I started going by Ashton and binding every day. While this alleviated a lot of my dysphoria, I still felt frustrated by my inability to find an identity that felt right to me.
One day, after I had been meandering in the pits of gender questioning for several years, a friend handed me a copy of “Stone Butch Blues” and told me to read it.
That book changed my world. The heartbreaking, wondrous, and profound book told my story. My story in a different lifetime. I finally knew what I was: a butch. Not butch as an adjective, but butch as a noun. Butch described both my gender identity and my sexuality. It was perfect.
I was incredibly relieved to learn that there were others like me in the lesbian community— butches who struggled with gender identity and gender dysphoria. I was saddened, though, that the lesbian community that was open to this gender variance seemed to exist only in old-school lesbian communities, or communities online. I worried that my decision to have top surgery would essentially exile me from the local lesbian community. I came out as gay at 14, so the thought of being shut out from a community that had been home to me for so long was awful. At the time I was single, and I was afraid that I would never be able to find a lesbian who was willing to date and fully accept a butch who wanted a masculine/flat chest.
Fortunately, that turned out to not be the case at all.
After a lot of deliberating on various surgeons over the years, I ultimately decided to go with Medalie. For a long time I was going to try to hold out for Steinwald, as he does an inverted-T incision that keeps the nipples attached to the stalk thus generally preserving sensation, but after come face to face with reality and realizing that it would take me years before I could afford him (at $9k), I decided to go with Medalie. I had already been waiting for five years; I couldn’t justify the choice to make myself wait any longer if I had another viable option.
I wasn’t sure if Medalie operated on genderqueer patients, so I didn’t exactly disclose my identity. I had my (wonderful) therapist write me a letter without gender pronouns in it, simply stating that I have suffered from gender dysphoria for a long time and that surgery was the best way to rectify the problem. I got extremely nervous at the consultation, because I was scared that he would bring up my therapist’s letter or question me about my identity, but he did neither. He was personable and direct, and I honestly don’t think he gave a damn how I identified, as long as I had a letter.
Two days later, I had surgery with him.
And here I am now, on the eve of my one month surgi-versary. I am incredibly happy and extremely grateful. I will be carrying a hefty amount of debt for the next who-knows-how-many years, but it was undeniably worth it. I am incredibly grateful to everyone who has helped me get to this point, be it through words or good vibes or financial contributions.
So, that is my story. Obviously, there are numerous parts that have been left out for the sake of brevity, but if you wish to hear an expanded version you are welcome to visit my youtube.
My name is Amber Hazard and I’m a hardfemme, genderqueer trans woman.
Kaia
[Image: a genderqueer person with light olive-tonned skin and short brown hair. She is wearing eye-makeup and a purple scarf over her dark blue top. She is looking into the camera and has one hand rested on the side of her head.]
Hi! My names Kaia. Trans-femme genderqueer mahu. Hapa: Filipina and White with Hawaiian and Californian cultural influences. Currently reside in from the depths of Orange County, attending the University of California, Irvine. Pursuing a degree in dance. About 6 months of hormones as of right now. Prefers the pronoun “She” .
I hope to become a movement / performance artist, probably heading to the Bay Area after I graduate. Very committed to trans activism and social justice on a larger scale.
My blog typically deals with exposing feelings of trans embodiment.
Genderqueer History and Identities
gqid:
I had previously posted about the availability of my Genderqueer History and Identities project, prepared for an LGBT American History class, on Google Docs. Now it is available as a direct PDF link as well as on the Genderqueer Identities Tumblr itself via the sidebar. Follow the links!:
What is “Genderqueer”?: Defining genderqueer
Genderqueer History: Includes Beginnings (late 1980s, early 1990s, up to 2001), Popularization and Community (2002 through 2006), Recent Developments (2007 to 2010), and Criticism.
Beginnings focuses on what set the stage genderqueer communities, including postmodernism, transgender and feminist writings challenging and expanding upon the concept of gender, and authors such as Leslie Feinberg, Kate Bornstein, and Riki Anne Wilchins, up through the formation of communities like Genderqueer Boyzz in 1997 and GenderQueer Revolution in 2001. Popularization and Community chronicles the publication of the anthology GenderQueer: Voices from Beyond the Binary (2002) which allowed the word to slip into more mainstream usage and understanding, and news stories throughout the 2000s highlighting self-identification with the term and genderqueer issues (such as gender neutral bathrooms). Recent Developments briefly looks at Kate Bornstein’s revisiting of Gender Outlaws with Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, some news coverage, Jess Five’s genderqueer seahorse symbol, and Internet community activity. Criticism covers some of the relation of genderqueer to politics and feminism.
Identities and Concepts: Quotes sources such as the Trans and Queer Wellness Initiative to provide definitions for terms / identities commonly associated with genderqueerness, including androgyne, bigender, gender fluid, and neutrois.
I will be posting ‘bite-sized’ excerpts from my project and material cited in the project from time to time via Tumblr in the coming days.
Please use the GQID ask box to make suggestions on information to potentially add to the project, particularly if you think that something major was missing! To my knowledge there has not been a thorough resource for genderqueer history compiled - we’re making history by chronicling this history! I’ve become so passionate about this particularly because if this kind of information was out there when I was struggling to figure my own gender and sexual identity out, I would have been joyful and relieved to know that I was not alone, and that there was a history of non-binary identity stretching back farther than I could’ve ever previously imagined.
Cheers,
~Marilyn Roxie
This is amazing. Thank you.
I AM trans. I just don’t try very hard.
A post by Andrew Coate. Here are the opening paragraphs:
At 5’2″ and 130 lbs it’s hard for me to look masculine. And some days it’s not worth it. Some days getting up and flattening and tucking and layering and angsting over what clothes will best hide my hips and chest loses out to getting up and putting on whatever is most comfortable, or frankly what looks best. Some days it’s a lot easier to get up, throw something on, accept that that outfit means I’ll be read more often as female, and just walk out the door.
A few months ago I made the decision to stop getting upset or annoyed when I was misgendered in public by, say, somebody at a store or in a restaurant. A couple months after that I stopped being annoyed with friends who “messed up” my pronouns. I get it, honestly. I really have stopped trying as hard as I had been for a couple of years. Sure I’d like a deeper voice, but I’m not as anxious for it as I had been. Sure I’d like a body that fits how I feel a little more, but I have more important, fun and exciting things to save my money for.
So yes, I am trans. But I don’t try very hard.
And yes, I am trans. But I don’t care that much.
Because I live in the middle ground of gender. While most of the world functions either on side A or Side B (that is to say in a binary system – male or female) I am that mysterious other. And I’m no longer telling myself that I am just passing through this middle ground on the way from one side to the other. My camp is no longer temporary. It’s no longer a camp. I’m building a house here on this middle ground, and I get that that confuses people. (read on)
Interview: Genderqueer performer CN Lester
Genderqueer performer CN Lester, who identifies as neither male nor female, talks to Paris Lees about sexual harassment, operatic androgyny and a mutual fear of going blind.
A few excerpts:
“On the baroque opera stage it didn’t matter what your genitals were, what mattered was: do you have a beautiful voice and do you look fabulous in the costume?”
“Classic FM gives you all these passive opera heroines who might lie down and die quite gradually, but the baroque opera heroines just don’t do that. They’re sorceresses and fighters and warriors and queens, and it’s kind of amazing – they kick arse. They might have been played by castrati who was dressed up as a woman, or by women who pretended to be men to get the roles…”
“People think classical music is really straight-laced and is just for white, straight, cis people but it never has been, it’s always been full of people that society marginalises and pretends don’t exist, but there we are, centre stage, to spread that message… Classical music, now, is very conservative.”
